Just Ducky

http://www.centredaily.com/2012/12/14/3435719/boy-13-poses-as-ncis-officer-causes.html

It's only a show, folks....yet a moment of TV magic was brought home to our North Atherton Street Walmart, yesterday, with the news of a NCIS agent going rogue.

No word yet if it was Agent DiNozzo or Agent McGee...but one thing is sure...whomever it was will be getting a slap upside the head from Jethro, for this one.

Don't touch that dial, and stay tuned to see which CSI crew is called in to investigate (I'm hoping for the NY team)...or worse yet, Fringe Division.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled program.

Why it's always best to bury the hatchet

So....the Thanksgiving dinner is over, and you and the family decide to settle in for a nice, friendly game of Trivial Pursuit.

One thing leads to another, a dispute arises over the answer to a question, and you make the decision to handle it the only way you know how...by threatening the other player with a hatchet!

But wait!  Over a week goes by before the police are called in to investigate, and instead of burying the hatchet, like we're all told to do, it's magically transformed into a piece of drug paraphernalia, instead!

But the biggest unanswered question in this case, though, is just what was the alleged wrong answer that sparked this whole hatchet wielding incident???

http://www.centredaily.com/2012/12/02/3422203/police-man-threatened-with-hatchet.html

What the Hay?!?

I guess what goes on in Coburn doesn't stay in Coburn.

 http://www.centredaily.com/2012/09/18/3340390/penns-valley-man-charged-with.html#storylink=omni_popular#wgt=pop

The comments section on this article, is worth the read, as well...and as one poster mentioned, I guess the Grange Fair magic is over.

The Great Giant Sausage Caper

http://www.centredaily.com/2012/08/17/3303064/state-college-police-man-tries.html

So just when I was lamenting the fact that we haven't had a good wandering Emu story, or anything of value for entry into this blog, one of my Facebook friends, Carole, spotted this story in the CDT.

I don't even know where to begin...but perhaps the fact that all the items were paid for, except for the sausage, might be a good place to start.  Or maybe the angle that the sausage had to be "destroyed" as opposed to just thrown away.  Or that it had to be destroyed because it was taken out of the package, and not because it was put into another package, is somewhat bewildering.

And, of course, we could take this into a very off-color direction very quickly...but I think we all know those jokes, so insert yours, here.  I will say, though, that coming from Wisconsin, where sausage, kielbasa and brats are a staple in the diet, that I will never look at a Johnsonville or Uncle Charley's product the same way, ever again, after reading this story.

It's been a while, but it'll be worth the wait!

So we're back!!!

I know it's been a while since our last post, but it's been a slow summer in stories that qualify for this blog, coming from the State College/Centre County, area.  Not that there haven't been stories happening in nearby counties, or across PA, mind you...but nothing much of note around here....that is, until now!!!

So we have this gem of a story from Centre Hall, and although there is SO much that we could mention about this story, perhaps the one thing that intrigues me the most is that nearly $75 was found in the one vehicle....in CHANGE.  Forget the fisticuffs and yelling and smokes...but who has $75, in change, in there vehicle?

So enjoy this wonderful tale of two sisters and their mutual friend, and the mayhem and chaos that ensue over a posting on Facebook.

http://www.centredaily.com/2012/07/10/3257126/three-women-facing-assault-charges.html

I'd like to pay for that $1500 purchase with $1 bills, please...

http://www.centredaily.com/2012/03/25/3139678/state-college-police-are-investigating.html

I realize the thinking here...counterfeit $1 and $5 bills, because everyone is looking for the counterfeit $50's and $100's...

But really...$1 bills?  How much does it cost to counterfeit a $1 bill?  $1.25? $1.50?  Is it like the US Government spending over a penny, to make a penny?  Even if there is some profit in $1 bills, how many would you have to spend to make it really worth while to your evil and nefarious plan to outwit a sales associate at Wal-Mart?

And if your goal is to not raise a red flag when you're checking out, how does paying in all $1 bills NOT do that?  Don't you think that a sales associate at Best Buy would have a red flag flown in their mind if you said you were going to pay for that $1500 HDTV in ONLY $1 bills?  Sales Associate: "Will that be cash or your Best Buy charge?"  Perp: "Cash, but all I have to pay for that is $1 bills (as you hoist the bag of loot with the $$$ sign on it, on the counter)"...Yeah, that won't raise a red flag with anyone...

...and I'd really worry if they try to pay their bail in all $5 bills....just sayin'...

Always use a spoon to taste the salad dressing...

http://www.centredaily.com/2012/03/21/3134281/man-34-gets-jail-time-for-4th.html

DUI's, DWI's, underage drinking, throwing bottles off of balcony's, and urinating on buildings, cars, and shrubbery, unfortunately, make the news all the time in Centre County.  Remember, our little county of Centre is the home of a couple of infamous .34+ blood alcohol level offenders, you know.

But finger dipping in the salad dressing at Hi-Way Pizza....well, that's just going a bit too far!  I mean, really! 

Police have assured us, though, that there is a silver lining in all of this.  If you frequent Hi-Way Pizza, at least for the next year (and possibly more), the steak knives, pie slicer, and spatula will be safe and sound, and on the salad bar, and not in Mr. Mulling's pockets. 

Hopefully Mr. Mulling sobers up enough and doesn't try that finger-licking-good trick at the Gray Bar Hotel's salad bar....just sayin'...

Meet Thor, PA's newest rodent legend...

Move over Punxsutawney Phil!  There's a new rodent in these here parts and his story has gone viral in the past couple of weeks, thanks to the folks at Accu-Weather who first brought it to our attention, and to Thor's legion of fans on the internet.

And now we have a very fitting song and video tribute to the area's newest rodent celebrity, written by the comedy songwriting team of William Dann and Jack Servello.

http://youtu.be/12VfoE5MJ6s

Enjoy!

Stylin' and Profilin'

http://www.centredaily.com/2012/02/07/3081099/the-county.html

I guess this thief wanted to look good for the mug shot?

Because nothing makes a Dad's heart burst with joy more than...

http://www.centredaily.com/2012/02/06/3080257/police-pa-dad-was-drunk-picking.html

...seeing his son have a higher blood-alcohol content than himself...

Well, you know what they say....like father like son?  Or the apple (perhaps in this case the flask) doesn't fall far from the (shot glass) tree??

The Deer That Fought Back!

http://www.centredaily.com/2012/02/02/3075770/pa-hunter-treated-for-rabies-after.html
The deer in Pennsylvania's woods appear to be getting smarter, and they are now fighting back!

Note to self:  If you have any kind of scratches or scrapes on your hands, it's always best to wear gloves before you field dress a deer or other wild animal...unless, of course, you're Han Solo and you have a light sabre handy.

Oh, yeah...and not a good idea to shoot an animal that's presenting itself as being injured or sick...that's a good one to remember, as well.

It's time to pass the mantle

Having left State College, it's very hard to keep up with all the exciting and unique goings-on in the area.  But luckily, my friend Drew Frank of Meadow Lane Photography, has agreed to pick up this blog.  Drew's a keen observer of life in Centre County, so I know he won't miss a beat and will keep everyone posted.  So it's time for me to say, "So long, farewell, Auf Wiedersehen, adieu."