Monday, March 26, 2012

I'd like to pay for that $1500 purchase with $1 bills, please...

http://www.centredaily.com/2012/03/25/3139678/state-college-police-are-investigating.html

I realize the thinking here...counterfeit $1 and $5 bills, because everyone is looking for the counterfeit $50's and $100's...

But really...$1 bills?  How much does it cost to counterfeit a $1 bill?  $1.25? $1.50?  Is it like the US Government spending over a penny, to make a penny?  Even if there is some profit in $1 bills, how many would you have to spend to make it really worth while to your evil and nefarious plan to outwit a sales associate at Wal-Mart?

And if your goal is to not raise a red flag when you're checking out, how does paying in all $1 bills NOT do that?  Don't you think that a sales associate at Best Buy would have a red flag flown in their mind if you said you were going to pay for that $1500 HDTV in ONLY $1 bills?  Sales Associate: "Will that be cash or your Best Buy charge?"  Perp: "Cash, but all I have to pay for that is $1 bills (as you hoist the bag of loot with the $$$ sign on it, on the counter)"...Yeah, that won't raise a red flag with anyone...

...and I'd really worry if they try to pay their bail in all $5 bills....just sayin'...

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Always use a spoon to taste the salad dressing...

http://www.centredaily.com/2012/03/21/3134281/man-34-gets-jail-time-for-4th.html

DUI's, DWI's, underage drinking, throwing bottles off of balcony's, and urinating on buildings, cars, and shrubbery, unfortunately, make the news all the time in Centre County.  Remember, our little county of Centre is the home of a couple of infamous .34+ blood alcohol level offenders, you know.

But finger dipping in the salad dressing at Hi-Way Pizza....well, that's just going a bit too far!  I mean, really! 

Police have assured us, though, that there is a silver lining in all of this.  If you frequent Hi-Way Pizza, at least for the next year (and possibly more), the steak knives, pie slicer, and spatula will be safe and sound, and on the salad bar, and not in Mr. Mulling's pockets. 

Hopefully Mr. Mulling sobers up enough and doesn't try that finger-licking-good trick at the Gray Bar Hotel's salad bar....just sayin'...