Hey, idiot: Look up the word "blackmail" in the dictionary, next time!

From today's Centre Daily Times:

Student accused of assaulting girlfriend

From CDT staff reports

A Penn State student from New Jersey who came to court Wednesday to face a simple assault charge was handcuffed and carted from court by police who said he had taken at least eight photos of himself assaulting his girlfriend to use as blackmail. 

_______________, 21, of Voorhees, N.J., told the woman "he took the photos and kept them in case she ever ratted him out on his pending marijuana charges," according to State College police.

The eight photos the woman stumbled upon, which police later recovered from the memory card of ___________'s camera, showed her asleep, naked, and being assaulted by _________, according to court papers.

When she found the photos, police said ________ threw her against a wall and continued to harass and threaten her and told her she'd be committing a federal offense by calling police.

___________ had been charged with simple assault and harassment for throwing the woman against a wall. But when he showed up in court Wednesday for a preliminary hearing, he was arrested on aggravated indecent assault and invasion of privacy charges.

He is also accused of selling marijuana.

How (not) to perform mouth-to-mouth on a possum

 [Thanks to my friend Diane Twomley for pointing this one out to me]

From today's Centre Daily Times:

Police: Drunk Pa. man tried to 'revive' opossum

- The Associated Press

PUNXSUTAWNEY, Pa. — State police have charged a central Pennsylvania man with public drunkenness after he was seen giving mouth-to-mouth "resuscitation" to a long-dead opossum along a highway.

Trooper Jamie Levier says several witnesses saw 55-year-old Donald Wolfe, of Brookville, near the animal along Route 36 in Oliver Township Thursday about 3 p.m. The trooper says one person saw Wolfe kneeling before the animal and gesturing as though he were conducting a seance, while another saw the mouth-to-mouth attempt.

Levier says Wolfe was "extremely intoxicated" and "did have his mouth in the area of the animal's mouth, I guess."

The Associated Press could not locate a home telephone number for Wolfe.  Oliver Township is about 65 miles northeast of Pittsburgh.

Great moments in gender equity

From today's Daily Collegian:

Beer Pong tour to visit PSU

Beer pong has prompted more than a few naked laps and lost memories, but Penn State students now have a chance to win $50,000.

The World Beer Pong Tour (WBPT) is making a stop Tuesday at Gingerbread Man, 130 Hiester St., where up to 64 teams will go head-to-head to make it to the World Beer Pong Championship in Atlantic City. This is the second-annual tournament and the first time the tour has made a stop in State College on its 70-city tour. . . .

Kapoor said there will also be a beer pong diva competition, where women will compete in a series of events to win a spot in the WBPT calendar sold nationwide.

"It's to get more estrogen involved because [the tournament] is predominately male-based," he said. "Guys always appreciate good-looking girls at the venues."

Nice to know that women have opportunities open to them in the world of beer pong.

Winter frolicking in Happy Valley

Thanks to my friend Mike Dooris for pointing these out to me, from this morning's Centre Daily Times:

Crows - in multimedia!

Haven't gotten enough of the story of the crow relocation at Penn State?  Now watch it on YouTube.

Yes, it's made out of butter

From today's Centre Daily Times:

Pennsylvania Dairy Princess Krystal Wasson, of State College, helps unveil this year’s butter sculpture Thursday at the Farm Show in Harrisburg.

The crow saga continues

From an email sent to all College of Ed employees today:

CROW RELOCATION  – WINTER 2010

University Park - The Office of Physical Plant (OPP) crow relocation program for winter semester will begin Wednesday night (6 Jan 2010).  Large groups of crows have been detected in the vicinity of Ford, Moore, Cedar, and Chambers Buildings, West Halls, Rec Hall, the Hub, and Pond Lab. Occupants of these buildings may experience the loudest noises as our harassment effort gets underway.

Physical Plant anti-crow forces will muster on the north side of Old Main at 7:30 p.m. Wednesday night and proceed with re-location operations.  Jeremy Smith, OPP Trades Supervisor will be in charge of the launch team.  The campus community can expect to hear loud noises in the early evening as university employees launch anti-crow pyrotechnic noisemakers called "bangers" and "screamers".  These activities will continue until the crows move to less problematic locations.  Pyrotechnic operations may continue for several weeks until this objective is met.

This year’s preferred roosting location is a stand of trees east of the Visitor’s Center.  Small groups of highly trained OPP employees will be conducting the relocation operation and will be wearing distinctive green safety vests.

Once the crows have vacated a location, crow effigies will be hung to dissuade the crows from returning.  Light towers will be erected in the targeted relocation woods east of the Visitor’s Center to make the area more appealing to crows.  

No crows will be harmed in this operation.  The public can expect some disturbance from the noisemaking activities and possible crow infestation if the crows attempt to re-roost in populated areas.

In addition, The College of Agricultural Sciences is employing propane cannons at two locations, the Dairy Barns and the Organic Materials Processing and Education Center (OMPEC).  These cannons produce a loud bang to scare crows away from those locations.  These cannons may be used for most of the day, seven days a week throughout the rest of the fall and winter.  

Last year about 3,000 migrating crows landed on our campus causing unsanitary and unpleasant conditions.  Our goal is to discourage this mass roosting and the accompanying sanitary problems.  

Physical Plant is partnering with Penn State researchers and the USDA Wildlife Services to relocate the migrating crows.  Penn State will also work closely with the Borough to jointly find solutions to this continuing problem.  For further information please contact Paul Ruskin, Physical Plant Communications Coordinator at 863-9620 or at pdr2@psu.edu.