Safe acorns

Thanks to my friend Dana Mitra who pointed this one out to me, from today's Centre Daily Times.  Look carefully at the headline and then the lead.  Did the judge hand out condoms filled with acorns, or acorns filled with condoms?  And more importantly, why?

Police say judge passed out acorn-filled condoms

The Associated Press

September 29, 2010 12:42pm EDT

HARRISBURG, Pa. — Police say a district judge from Intercourse, Pa., hid condoms inside acorns and handed them out to women in the state Capitol complex last week.

A summary charge of disorderly conduct was filed Tuesday against Isaac H. Stoltzfus, who presides over low-level cases as a district judge in Lancaster County.  The citation from Capitol Police says the 58-year-old jurist gave the acorns to unsuspecting women, who were offended when they discovered the contents.

Stoltzfus' office referred questions to defense attorney Heidi Eakin, who didn't immediately return a phone message Wednesday.

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Update 9/30:  The CDT must have realized its error in the headline, because the website was changed:

Dump and run

Kudos to the Centre Daily Times headline writer on this one.  As you can see, there are 33 comments -- you can only imagine what people had to say.  Here's a link to the story if you want to see for yourself.

Entry in the "Least Competent Criminals" contest

This happened a little outside of State College, but I loved the headline on this story in today's Centre Daily Times, the idea of robbing an "adult" store with a "toy" gun:

Pa. adult store clerk foils 2 'armed' with toy gun

- The Associated Press

September 24, 2010 5:57pm EDT

DUNCANSVILLE, Pa. — Police say two women who tried to rob a central Pennsylvania adult book store with a toy gun didn't fool a clerk, who told them to "get a real gun."

Authorities say 28-year-old Shannon Cheripka, of Glasgow, and 26-year-old Angela Crook, of Coalport, attempted to rob the Adult World store in Duncansville around 1 a.m. Thursday.

Cheripka told police the clerk said, "First, if you're going to rob someone, get a real gun. Second off, you're not getting any money."

Authorities say the clerk chased away the women before police in nearby Logan Township arrested them in a van the clerk had described.  The women remained in the Blair County Jail on Friday on robbery and other charges. It was unclear if they had lawyers.

Great moments in pooper scoopering

This post should probably be titled "Only in Cambridge."  But it was in our local paper here in State College, so it qualifies.

Dog poop has bright side: Powering Mass. park lamp

By JAY LINDSAY- Associated Press Writer

September 22, 2010 5:51am EDT

CAMBRIDGE, Mass. — It stinks and it's a hazard to walkers everywhere, but it turns out dog poop has a bright side.

Dog poop is lighting a lantern at a Cambridge dog park as part of a monthslong project that its creator, artist Matthew Mazzotta, hopes will get people thinking about not wasting waste.

The "Park Spark" poop converter is actually two steel, 500-gallon oil tanks painted a golden yellow, connected by diagonal black piping and attached to an old gaslight-style street lantern at the Pacific Street Park.

After the dogs do their business, signs on the tanks instruct owners to use biodegradable bags supplied on site to pick up the poop and deposit it into the left tank. People then turn a wheel to stir its insides, which contain waste and water. Microbes in the waste give off methane, an odorless gas that is fed through the tanks to the lamp and burned off. The park is small but has proven busy enough to ensure a steady supply of fuel.

AP Photo

In this Wednesday, Sept. 15, 2010 photo, Boston artist Matthew Mazzotta poses at a Cambridge, Mass., dog park next to a gas light powered by the "Park Spark" poop converter he devised, background left. Microbes in the droppings deposited into the Park Spark give off methane, an odorless gas that is fed through the tanks to the lamp and burned off.

Another classic from the archives

As I earlier promised, I will on occasion repost what I consider classic entries from my Only In State College blog that I used to maintain on my website at work, and thus are not accessible here on Blogger. Here's one from almost three years ago:

From the Centre Daily Times, 10/19/07:

"Man charged with DUI after self-incrimination

BELLEFONTE — A Howard man was bound over for trial Wednesday on DUI charges in a bizarre arrest in which state police said he incriminated himself at a traffic stop with his own portable breath test.
 
Michael Andrew McClenahan, 58, 231 Swamp Poodle Road, was stopped along state Route 150 in Boggs Township about 2:20 p.m. Sept. 15, according to a criminal complaint. He was spotted swerving by a state conservation officer, who called state police at Rockview.
 
When McClenahan got out of his car, he smelled strongly of alcohol and refused to take any field sobriety tests, police said. McClenahan then volunteered he was probably at a .12 percent blood alcohol content, above the .08 percent legal limit, police said.
 
When the trooper asked how McClenahan knew this, he pulled out his own portable breath tester, reset it, blew a .09 percent blood alcohol content and showed it to the trooper, according to court documents. He was arrested on a DUI charge."

Another candidate for the Stupid Move of the Year Hall of Fame

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Watch out Detroit -- Happy Valley is now HockeyTown!

It's an historic day here at Only in State College.  For the first time, there's a crossover with my other blog, The Itinerant Professor.  All you puckheads in Detroit, Boston, or Pittsburgh have to watch out -- Happy Valley is about to become the center of the hockey universe.  Penn State announced yesterday the largest gift in the university's history, $88 million, for the building of a hockey arena and to move the university's men's and women's hockey teams from club status to Division 1.  Woo hoo!!!

So Penn State - long known for being a cow town, or the home of The Creamery, or most notably, a football school - is going to become known as HockeyTown.  Here's how the Centre Daily Times covered the story.

Family gives $88 million | Arena to seat at least 5,000 | NHL games possible

Gift brings hockey to PSU

Gordon Brunskill

September 18, 2010 8:10am EDT

UNIVERSITY PARK — Ice hockey is returning to Penn State. After more than a half-century of waiting, and the last four decades as a club sport, the university announced Friday it would be bringing back varsity men’s and women’s programs.

CDT/Christopher Weddle

Kim and Terry Pegula, center, receive hockey jerseys and sticks from Joe Battista, left, Penn State athletic director Tim Curley and PSU president Graham Spanier after a news conference announced the university's plans to begin NCAA division I men and women's hockey at the Nittany Lion Inn on Friday, September 17,

The return comes thanks to the largest single private gift in the university’s history, $88 million from Terrence M. and Kim Pegula to fund a multi-purpose arena and establish men’s and women’s varsity programs on campus.

“It’s a new turning point for Penn State, made possible by an unprecedented act of philanthropy,” university President Graham Spanier said during a press conference at the Nittany Lion Inn. “... The Pegula’s unparalleled generosity will make it possible for Penn State to serve our region and our student athletes in exciting new ways.” 

The arena, which does not yet have a name and is expected to have 5,000-6,000 seats, will have two sheets of ice and will not only be home to Nittany Lion hockey, but also figure skating programs, public skating sessions, youth camps, high school games and recreation leagues. The university also hopes the arena will play host to NHL and AHL exhibition games.

Click to read the rest of the story.